The Joy of Being by Marina Pearson

Author:Marina Pearson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Panoma Press

You are not the thoughts you have

What would happen if one day you discovered that who you thought you were was all made up? What if you were to learn that you are so much more than you think you are? I remember one of my friends asking me, “Who is the ‘I’ that you refer to on a daily basis?” This stopped me in my tracks as I had always assumed that the ‘I’ I talk about is me, Marina – a woman, joy coach, the Joy of Being podcast host, divorcee, mum, investor, bilingual in Spanish and who lives in Javea, Spain. While all of that is true, these are nothing more than labels I have given myself. Over time I have come to see that I don’t know who I am. It changes from moment to moment based on thought. As it does for you.

For many years, I had bought into the notion of ‘who I am’ as being a fixed thing. I am Marina, who is this way. I totally believed the bull crap I would say to myself about who I thought I was, and it didn’t look pretty – especially during my teenage years. By the time I was 13 or 14, I believed all the bad things I would say about myself. I am fat, ugly, stupid, unpopular (and so the list went on).

In an effort to silence the critical voice, I decided to stop eating and slowly anorexia took hold and sucked me in. I became obsessed with how much control I had over my body and how little I could put in my mouth. I believed that if I were beautiful and thin enough, I would be lovable.

These patterns of thinking accompanied me throughout my twenties and most of my thirties until I was pregnant and had profound insights into who we are. During the first three months of my pregnancy, I spent a lot of time in bed because I was so tired. One night as I was lying there alone, the question Who am I? popped into my awareness. I didn’t really know how to answer that, so I didn’t. A few seconds later I heard ‘I am…’ I waited a little longer to find out ‘what’, but there was only silence.

I AM.

We are not what we label ourselves. We are not the roles we play, the jobs we have or the results we get. They are what we do, not what we are.

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